- Do you feel like no-one really understands where you are at?
- Are the people around you stuck in their own spiral of negative emotions and behavior and you’re trying to bust out of that?
It’s important to understand that we are all individuals — you are not them and they are not you. You have no control over them, as they have no control over you. They have their opinions and you have yours.
If your loved ones don’t understand where you’re at
Your friends and family love you and they want what’s best for you. Often their behaviour is just a misguided attempt at protecting you or looking after you in the way THEY’D want to be looked after. But that’s not necessarily what’s right for you.
The less you need someone’s approval to do what you do in life, the more you are able to love them and the less you are affected by them. And the more self-assured and positive you are about what you are choosing for yourself in life, the less they will feel they have to interfere. If they know you love them, want the best for them but are doing what you know is the best for you, they will be less inclined to feel the need to protect you.
If they know that your love for them is unconditional and that you know what’s best for your own greater good, then try saying to them, “I love you but I have to live my own life. Thanks for your input but I am choosing what’s best for me and am doing what feels right for me”. End of conversation. No moans and groans.
But if you feel that family members or friends are really being destructive to your well-being, then removing yourself from them in the short term (until you are stronger to handle it) might be a good idea.
If your friends and family are negative around you
Find a positive support network somewhere else that can feed your desire to change and people who support you to be positive.
Think about people you know, wish you knew or groups in your community who inspire you. Make the effort to get out there and meet them, talk to them, go to a meeting, invite them for coffee, whatever it takes! You’ll know what that means for you but you must make an effort. Don’t wait for someone to show up on your doorstep and rescue you. Go out and find them!
If it’s not an immediate family member being negative but someone you can choose not to be with…then begin to remove yourself from their presence. They do not serve you if they are supporting negative thoughts and negative actions. It will only make it harder for you.
YOU are the most important person in this world to YOU, and YOU know what’s best for YOU. Be the best YOU that YOU can be!