Do I feel sad? Sometimes.
Do I feel lonely? Sometimes.
Am I worried? Sometimes.
If I didn’t then I would not be a normal human being. It is normal to have these emotions and anyone who says they don’t, is lying!
But does it negatively affect my life? No.
Why? Because I don’t allow it to and I have learned how to control these thoughts and emotions. When an unwanted or negative emotion comes into my day, I recognize it…acknowledge it…allow it to sit for a bit…then I ask it to leave (I do this through a various array of tools and techniques which I call on, depending on the emotion I’m working with). I know that sometimes life is hard but I also know that after the sun has gone down on today, tomorrow the sun will rise again. So I treat my life in the same way — I kiss goodbye to the old day and start each new day with a sense of anticipation and expectation of goodness. It’s amazing how our attitude can change through this simple practise of releasing the old and embracing the new.
It is important to know that life is always going to be ups and downs. No-one will wave a magic wand for you and make life permanently perfect, full of fluffy ducklings and soft landings! And even those of us who you think have “made it through” and are leading the perfect life, do so because we have mastered the art of being in control of it; not because we no longer have sadness, loneliness, worry or other negative emotions in our life.
Why am I telling you this today? Because I have talked to a lot of people lately who have the impression that in order to move forward in life they have to no longer feel grief, anxiety or any of those other emotions associated with loss. There is a common impression that successful people are always happy and never feel uncertain or worried. False!
The key to true happiness and moving forward in your life is to understand yourself and your feelings, and to know how to be in control…no matter what life throws at you. To also understand that it is a constant journey of discovery and learning, healing, reflection and being comfortable with whatever emotion decides to visit you that day — good or bad. And isn’t that what life is all about? It’s a journey to be travelled constantly, not lots of separate trips that become shut away in the photo album of life and never to be visited again.
So don’t beat yourself up or think that it’s no use because you are just too sad/lonely/worried/anxious to move on in life. Recognize that you are feeling that way today but promise yourself you will try to look for the sun behind the clouds tomorrow. And if it doesn’t happen tomorrow, try again the next day. If you keep looking for the sunshine eventually it will appear because that’s the law of nature! And in the process of doing that little thing, you are beginning to train your mind to look for the good in life (even if it seems allusive on some days).
